I can see the light

Amazing.....I survived the summer. Two fourteen week courses crammed into two six week terms......what are these people thinking? Fortunately, I passed both classes with flying colors, blood sweat and tears and I am beginning my last term of nursing school next Tuesday! (You can't seem me but trust me, I'm doing a happy dance!!!) It has been a long, hard summer and I'm anxious to begin the fall term. I think this whole process is beginning to wear on all of us. The kids have been very patient but they've had enough. I can see it all over their attitudes. I have so much running through my head and its been so long since I've posted that I'm just going to leave you with some summer funnies.

Scene: I walk into #1 son's room where he and Paddy both are in towels. All I did was call their names and #1 son yells in a panic stricken voice, "aaghhhh, you scared me!!". Paddy yells, "Mom, you scared me out of my crap!!!". Needless to say we now come up with every opportunity to use the phrase, "you scared me out of my crap"!!!

Yesterday I was leaving to go run some errands and Paddy says, "Be sure not to crash!"

We're driving down the street today and Syd sees a bumper sticker and reads it aloud for us all. Her interpretation: "God bless our soldiers. Especially the strippers." What the sticker actually said was "God bless our soldiers. Especially the Snipers." Quote of the day: "God bless the strippers!"

And its little moments like those that provide us with enough comic relief to make it through these seemingly never ending days of nursing school. When my mind is in a better place I will share with you the non HIPPA violating stories of my clinical experiences from the last semester!

The incredible, not so edible, L'egg

Last Wednesday I worked my first 12 hour shift. Where did they put me? I'm glad you asked. I was in the ED.....I don't know why they don't just issues roller blades at the front door 'cause I'm here to tell you it was non stop. There were moments in the day that there were 3 and 4 ambulances in the bay with an already full ED and patients in holding rooms waiting for beds to open up so they could be admitted. Crazy stuff, I tell ya. So crazy that after walking onto the floor at 0645 it suddenly hit me at 1445 in the middle of the third cardioversion of the day that I had not peed all day, my bladder weighed at least 4lbs, my legs were throbbing, my feet were numb and my stomach was shouting profanities at me.

That evening when I got home I was so tired I couldn't sleep. My legs were still throbbing. I'm sure they were in total rebellion at this point. They had been carrying my big behind around all day with additional 4-6lb, over distended bladder. There was no way they were going to chill and let me sleep. But alas, they finally quited down and let me get some sleep. The next day the nurse I was precepting with decided to let me in on her little secret.......support hose. I'm thinking, ok, Granny, seriously? She swore by them and said I'd be a fool not to invest in a good pair.

Well, surprise, surprise surprise. Who would have thought that a simple thing like support hose could have such a positive impact on someone's life.
I didn't even realize they still made panty hose. I'm a commando girl myself.....its a family trait...well, except for my #2 sister. I have to say, I was kind of embarrassed walking into the store looking for panty hose. I mean, honestly, who wears panty hose these days? Especially in Florida where temperatures soar into the upper 90's with 100%humidity 6 months out of the year. Well, let me tell you, sign me up I'm a tried and true believer in support panty hose. I will crack that little egg open before every 12 hour shift and proudly adorn those tacky, tight, sticky, mom jeans waisted, cirulation promoting, oh so energizing support hose and do so with pride!!

Viva la L'eggs!!!!

Passing is all that matters

Ok....so don't everyone get too excited but I successfully passed my first exam for which I spent a whole 48.27 hours studying. Now, I only made a 76...BUT two questions that I missed I missed because the ding dong sitting next to me decided that the first 5 minutes of the test was the appropriate time to fiddle with his Tag Huer......Thanks Rob! ;) I was so distracted by his fiddling that I wrote the correct answer down on the test but I bubbled in the wrong answer on the scantron form. Damned bubbles...damned men. *** Now my annoying ex husband is standing in my living room annoying the shit out of me and I wish that he would just drop off the only good thing that came out of our marriage (our children) and leave. Why he feels it necessary to come in and socialize is beyond me*** Sorry, I got a little distracted.

Tomorrow is the first day of clinicals and I'm actually excited about that. Not so excited about the 4:30am wake up but I am looking forward to working with patients. I so hate the class room but I do soooo love caring for my patients (for the most part).

One cute little Paddy story before I go: I'm sitting in my big over stuffed chair working (really I am) I say that all the time, I know, but I am. I can multi task very well. I am a single mom, after all....again, distracted.....Paddy keeps insisting on sitting right on top of me while I"m trying to work. So, finally I pulled his little chair (which is a nice, comfy Pottery Barn chair he got from his Grammy and Pappa for Christmas) and asked him to sit next to me. Twice now he has climbed right back up here with me, sat on the arm of the chair, put his arm around my neck and whispered, "Hey, mom, can you give me some room?" (***sigh*** rolling eyes) MEN!!!!!

Jules in Wonderland

OK...so I've been a bit of a slacker and ignoring my little blog here. I have been a little busy so don't hate me too much. I'm siting here trying to decide if there is actually still room left in my brain to retain any more information for this exam I have tomorrow over 8 chapters on the cardiac system. My brain is so full that sometimes I find it leaking out of my eyes at the most inappropriate times. Like Friday......well, wait, let me give you some back ground information:

I think I've already mentioned that I'm a tiny bit stressed over this condensed
semester and apparently my stress is manifesting itself in weird ways such has irregular heart beats, incredibly low blood pressure and just over all feeling of funkiness (I know, I'm a senior nursing student and funkiness is the best subjective term I could come up with describe how I'm feeling). This, of course, stresses me even more.

*** Now back to our regularly scheduled blog****

So, Friday, I'm standing in line at the grocery store. I'm minding my own business just waiting to pay for my stuff and I'm watching this group of girls, obviously dressed to go out, and suddenly, my brain starts leaking from my eyes. Really? Now? You're going to do this now? I couldn't decide if I was leaking because I was jealous that it has been months since I've gone out with my girlfriends or if my crazy nursing student imagination has finally gotten the best of me. I've worked so hard to get through this effin' nursing program, sacrificed time with my kids, time with my friends, basically sacrificed life in general and now, here, in my last semester I'm going to find out that I have developed some sort of horrible disease that is probably going to kill me before I can even attend my pinning ceremony.

I think I followed the wrong rabbit.

I want a do over

OK, to say that this past week was bad would be a slight understatement.

In the past 5 days I had a sick child, missed two days of work, my laptop screen died, my period was late (due to stress Mom), I have spent the entire weekend planted on my couch studying, except for the 30 minutes I spent vomiting on Saturday (seems we've passed a virus through the house) and the few hours that I actually went to bed and slept, an old high school friend that found me through FB has a soon to be ex wife who is convinced we were having an affair (they live in Hawaii....I'd have to be pretty desparate) and now says she might sue me for interferring with a marriage. Ok, so that brief moment actually made me laugh. LOL I haven't seen this guy in 20 years and it seems in 8 emails we are suddenly having a hot, torrid affair. Oh the joys of insecurities. Hers, not mine!

So, that was pretty much my week in a nut shell and I'd really like a do over!! I'm tired, I'm stressed and I have some overachiever issues about passing this class. Super nice guy is out of town for the next 4 weeks which is good in some ways but definitely puts a damper on things. Singleness seems to be my destiny. Or perhaps there is some hunky fireman dying to raise someone elses four children just waiting on me to finish nursing school. A girl can dream, can't she? Sheesh

I've promised my kids to shut off this computer and watch a movie tonight and that is what I'm going to do. No more studying, no more blogging.....I just hope I don't fall asleep on them. Here's to a fabulous week!

Raising Albert Einstein MacGyver

My two babies who are 9 and 2.11 are in constant competition for the baby spot. Sydney is three times Paddy's size and yet daily he beats the crap out of her. The picture below pretty much sums up their relationship.
(Yes, that is Paddy beating his sister and NO I did not take the picture....their big sister did!)

The sad thing is we are such a cruel and unusual family that we all find great entertainment in this love/hate relationship the two of them share. (Syd even finds herself unable to stop laughing about it) They are both control freaks (God only knows where they get that from) but little man is STRONG WILLED and Syd is a bit of a pushover so she will always lay down and die in the end. I'm to the point now where I just sit back and laugh if I'm not in the same room. Of course, if I'm in the same room I try with all my might to maintain a straight face and discipline Paddy for being so mean and scold Syd for not taking a stronger stand for herself. After all, he is 2.11 and she is 10. I do believe she could take him if she tried. He verbally assaults her as well. Y'all have heard how verbally eloquent he is for one so young. Nothing gets past him. But what kills me is he is really a sweet child. He is loving and affectionate and kindhearted and adores his other big sister...there is just something about Syd that rubs him the wrong way.


Like right now, as I'm typing they are both downstairs. I hear everything that is going on but technically I am working (I am, really, I just took a moment to vent and blog) and I tell them I am not going to referee when I'm working. She is crying like a baby....I mean you would think that some giant man has broken into our house and is just beating the mess out of her. Its just Paddy. He is bossing her around and telling her what he wants to watch on TV and she is crying because she is sick of watching "his shows". Well, if you were obeying your mother and not watching TV right now this wouldn't even be an argument. I'm hearing screams of "Don't thay (say) that word, Thydney" (yes, Paddy has a lisp) "I want to watch Fireman Tham (sam)" "Change it now, Thydney" and now that he has gotten his way "Tank you Thydney". Now Sydney is threatening to tell on Paddy....OMG...I'm about to cry I'm laughing so hard..."Peease don't tell Sissy, I'll be nice." What a manipulator. (OK, I heard you all screaming, "Get off your lazy arse and go parent!!!!!" I did and now I'm back.)

He has a birthday coming up very soon and the big topic of discussion is "Who is coming to Paddy's party?" So far, his dad, myself, his "Bubba" and "Gunny"(which is his stuffed bear). Lets see.... the shark and the snake (no idea) and some friends from school. But you can bet your bloomers he has told Sydney one million times, "You can't come to my berfday". Of course, he has told me that a few times also. I swear he gets it from his dad's gene pool because none of the other children acted like this when they were his age. He crawled out of his crib before he could walk, I had to special order 48" gates in order to keep him from flipping head first down the stairs. That took about two weeks for him to learn to scale. He learned to unlock the deadbolt when he was about 26 months old. Figured out how to get past the child locks on the kitchen cabinets around the same time.....this was of course after he learned how to open the gate that I put up blocking him from entering the kitchen at all. Oh yeah....and did I mention he now knows how to unbuckle his car seat harness???? On the bright side.....he did potty train early because he was excited about climbing up on a stool and standing up to pee....the thrill of having permission to climb on something was all the motivation he required.

So, if anyone has any experience parenting a strong willed, verbally astute, extremely intelligent three year old with the ingenuity of MacGyver who kicked his big sister out of her baby status ........I welcome any words of wisdom you may wish to bestow upon me.

Padraigisms

My conversation with Paddy on the way home today:

Padraig: Why didn't you pick me up on the bike today?

Me: Because it was 105 degrees outside.

Padraig: Oh, I wanna go to Starbucks.

Me: No, its too hot outside, we need to go home.

Padraig: Its not hot at Starbucks.




I have been going out with a super nice guy for a few months now. He has never been married and has no children of his own and he hasn't met my children yet. He travels quite a bit with his job and he is currently out of the country. Well last night we were on a video call and Paddy came in and started talking to him. (What a non threatening way to meet the kids. LOL) In the progression of this extremely entertaining conversation super nice guy says to Paddy, "Hey man, have you had a bath?" and Paddy nonchalantly responds, "No, its not Wednesday."



And one of my favorite Paraigisms: We were snuggling on the couch one day and he leans his head on my shoulder and looks up into my eyes and says, "You're a good woman, Mom. And you can cook."

Happy Monday.